Peace with No Guilt

Life is a little strange right now. It’s like in sitting in a big green valley, surrounded on every side by mountains with a river meandering down the middle of it. The sky is blue, and I have time to breathe and smell the flowers.

Only, that’s not figurative. That’s literal. That valley I just described is home to Snohomish, where we’ll be moving at the end of June. And that time to breathe and smell the flowers is true — I really do have that time right. I just finished my degree. I have an excellent job that really exemplifies that “work/life balance” truly is about. I’m at peace, and it’s quite lovely.

But strangely, I don’t think I fully accept this peace. I was caught remarking to a friend that I just didn’t know when it would end, and it had me on edge. Her response was: “What if it lasts a decade?”

What a reality check! Instead of thoroughly enjoying this peace, I’m bringing an unsettled nature on myself as if I don’t deserve this peace and it will be short-lived. As a result, my life isn’t fully at peace. It got me to thinking about how we go through trials and deep waters of life. When we get to the other side, do we want to turn around and jump back into the turbulence? No. So why do we live like we’re going to?

It’s very clear what God has in mind for those who follow Him:

“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” ~ Psalm 38:3-4

“The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. ” ~ Psalm 29:11

So why, when we’ve committed our way to the Lord, is it so easy to not accept the blessings He pours out on us? Perhaps it’s simply that we need to quiet our hearts. To “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). More than that, however, by not allowing ourselves to have full peace, we’re telling God that He’s not good enough. Check out this verse:

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” ~ Isaiah 26:3

It’s humbling. Therefore, I’m resolved to get over myself and to allow myself to fully trust in God and accept the good things He has bestowed on me and my family — for as long as it should last and without worry about what the future holds.

And, it’s only fitting that I close with this much-quoted verse from Numbers 6:24-26:

 “The Lord bless you
and keep you;
      the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
      the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace. ”


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